I was raised in a family home with just my mum and my sister, Zoe. There's 6 and a half years between Zoe and I are complete opposite ends of the spectrum, she's very pink, sparkly, princess, into her RnB and garage and I'm very low maintenance. I take little pride in my appearance, what you see is what you get, I'm into rock and metal. She 100% got the looks, and I got the brains!! So we couldn't be any more different but we couldn't be any closer. I wouldn't be anywhere without my sister! We even have matching tattoos! We really are like glue! Zoe and I have different fathers and neither of them were involved in our upbringing, we were fortunate enough to have very active grandparents in our childhoods and I don't feel like we missed out on anything a father could have given us that between our mum and grandparents we didn't have.
My mum are Zoe are two peas in a pod, they often get mistaken as sisters and because my mum was very young when she had Zoe they have a very sisterly/best friend bond. Whereas my mum and I have a very mother/daughter relationship, we argue, we hug, we laugh, we cry, but ultimately she's my mother and I'll always be her baby as she says.
Growing up, I had the family I knew, but the only people I really looked at that I could see family resemblance with was my aunt and uncle, who weirdly have a different father to my mum but, I do have their features. But that wasn't enough for me, I needed to know where I came from. No one in my family bad mouthed my biological father, they were very good in that respect and kept their opinions to themselves and let me find out what I wanted and needed to know alone.
So at 16 I began my search. My mum was very supportive, she spent hours of her time on Facebook searching for him, dug out old pictures and letters for me, and eventually the search paid off. She found my aunt, Jane. And that's how it all started. I eventually made contact with my biological father and he agreed to meet me. We met in a park in Southampton, I took my mum and he bought his wife and, at the time, 4 other children. Long story short, he wasn't the man I thought he would be, I didn't feel he could add anything to my life as it was and it didn't work out. He was very condescending and said a lot of hurtful and inappropriate things that he needn't have said or even have the right to say when he wasn't present throughout my childhood. He stirred a little family drama and ultimately he just wasn't worth the hassle, which is said really, but that's life. And regardless I still went on to achieve everything I wanted and more. So I feel I made the right decision.
However, I did meet my Aunty Jane, and her daughter (my half sister), Amy. And Amy's 2 other siblings Sarah and Ben. And it just went from there. Over time I met my niece and nephews that Amy had gone on to have, my other Aunt, Sharon and her daughter (my cousin), Kayleigh, and my Aunty Emily. Needless to say the journey was bittersweet, although my father is, to say the least, the biggest waste of space ever. I did meet my family and I found my place, I found my home, I found where I belong and I did feel that sense of where I came from that I sought to find. And regardless of my father, and the family relations, these people are incredible and they opened their hearts and homes to me! They are truly amazing! I only have contact with 1 of my 8 siblings on my fathers side, and that's Amy. But I feel that's all I need, I found my family who accept me for me and are more than excited to welcome Woody into our dysfunctional family haha! He's going to be one lucky little boy!! If the other siblings want to find me when they're old enough or ready to then I'll welcome them with open arms, but for me, right now, my search is over, I found everything I wanted to and more. And I'm truly blessed.
Heidi never had her biological father around either, for different reasons to myself, but she does have a dad, I think that's why choosing Woody's donor meant so much more to us. I would hate for Woody to feel like he didn't know the other half of him. In today's society, it isn't going to take long for him to realise two mummies can't make a baby. And we're prepared for that, the donor will be around, not on a co-parenting level but occasionally. He hosts annual BBQ's for all his donor families and children to attend, so Woody will never be alone. And ultimately he will never have to ask the question of 'who is his Daddy' because he will know, he will know where he came from and the precious gift his Daddy gave to us. He won't have to resent us for not having or knowing his biological father. He will be blessed with 2 mummies, a biological Daddy and a truck load of supportive family relations around him. And that makes us supper happy!!
I received a message from Amy about meeting up. When we walked through the door, the whole side of the family were there and they had thrown us a little family baby shower! It was both amazing and overwhelming!
We played stupid games like making nappies out of paper, which my niece and I were awful at, thank god nappies aren't made of paper eh?! We played a game where we couldn't say the word baby, which is really hard at a baby shower!! I won ;) not that I'm competitive!! We had to suck little baby figurines out of ice cubes, which I'm also rubbish at apparently!! And we had to hold a penny between our knees and walk and drop it into a bowl, which I'm also awful at....But these are amazing ideas for games at baby showers, it was hilarious!!
They had all chipped in to throw this baby shower and buy us gifts, muslins, outfits, nappies, bibs and the the most incredible present ever, Woody's first toy box, personalised!! It's so incredibly amazing!! Heidi and I love it and it fits perfectly in his room!
It was so overwhelming. I've always appreciated how welcoming this side of the family were to me, they're always asking after me, supporting me, offering their hand when I need them most. But this, this was incredible, it was something truly special for my wife and our son, for us!! It's hard to believe I've only known them a short while to how long I should have known them! It's only been 6 years, we never grew up together, but we are all so alike! I just fit right in! Amy and I have the same mannerisms, we both say the same stupid made up words, we have the same personality, morals. It's uncanny!! The baby shower made me realise not just how lucky I am, but how lucky Woody will be to have them too. It just goes to show that time means nothing, in any aspect of life. I love these guys as much as I love the family I grew up with. They are my family. And I cannot wait to introduce them to Woody!!