At our 12 week scan. We knew the possibility of twins, our donor has a couple of sets with other donor families. I really wanted twins, all the baby making out the way in one hit...Never have to do it again then. That was my thinking. Heidi was different. She kept checking her bump against other people's bumps on Instagram, obviously a legit form of comparison!! When we walked into our ultrasound, the sonographer turned the screens off, so we couldn't see, just to give baby the once over. First thing Heidi says 'Is there only one?!" "Yes there's only one." "THANK GOD FOR THAT!" Before she even asked if baby was okay haha! She was terrified of the thought!
Once we saw baby on screen that first time, it was truly breathtaking. It became so real. That little mini human was inside Heidi's tummy. We made that! It was incredible! I thought, if we have to find out the sex because Heidi can't wait, I'll do it at the earliest possible stage. 16 week 4D gender scan!!
I couldn't recommend the scan more. It's truly an amazing experience! We went to buy pink and blue paint before so we could do a gender reveal and then we drove to the scan after. The sonographer made us wait the whole scan, checking the baby thoroughly from head to tippy toes before she revealed the sex. And she didn't just say boy or girl...no! She said "See that?! No denying that! You're having a little boy!" Once I got over the fact I was staring at a willy, I cried! We both wanted a little boy, and luckily the only name we had decided on fully was our little boy's name! Woody Ioan Palfrey!
But after the scan, we got into the car, and I could see Heidi was a bit down. Early pregnancy had completely and utterly drained her anyway, sickness, tiredness, and her ever changing body! It's wearing! We went to Mothercare to buy Woody a Woody (from ToyStory) outfit, because that's just what we're like! And no, he isn't named after Woody from ToyStory either, we just like the name :)
We got home, we got messy with paint for our gender reveal. And I went to clean up and make a cup of tea. When I came down she was crying. "I wanted a boy, so why don't I feel anything?!" I tried my best to comfort her, but I was just reading from Google, she can do that herself. So, we got her mum round.
The stress of pregnancy, the house, a wedding and moving in with my mum was a huge strain. And this 'detachment' from the baby she was feeling is 100% normal, but as with many things, pregnancy is glorified as the most amazing time in a woman's life, which it is. But peaks and troughs! How can you feel attached to someone you've never met? And someone that is rinsing you of everything you have and leaves you with nothing? Heidi was exhausted and still had a full time job and a home to run! She is maternal, and she loves Woody and of course she's excited and would want no harm to come to him. But she was worn down and we thought the excitement of the gender would change everything...But reality is, it doesn't. If Woody was a girl, she would have felt exactly the same!
Luckily for Heidi, she came around very quickly, but some women don't, it can take until baby is born or even 3 months after! And that's not post-natal depression....it's just bonding time! Heidi has walked round rubbing her tummy since before a bump was visible, it was clear she was excited. But pregnancy is actually quite poo too....And you can't have wine to make you feel better! I salute any woman that can do it, because I couldn't!
But all that aside, pregnancy is an incredible journey, even from my perspective as a non-biological mother. Watching Heidi walk around rubbing her ever-growing bump, watching her body change and adapt ready for this little life, watching her glow. Keeping up with the apps of what he is as big as, or as long as, or as heavy as and what's developing week by week. We've created this tiny little person, and he's growing inside Heidi's tummy by the minute. 23 weeks in, I still cannot get my head around how incredible the human body is!