After our positive ovulation test but before the donor came over to donate, Heidi kept doing tests but the colour was getting lighter and lighter, we thought we had missed her fertility window. But, after the first insemination, Heidi peed on a stick and got a big fat positive ovulation result again. Apparently, there's a chemical in semen that can stimulate ovulation, so, if in the same situation, I'd suggest to inseminate anyway. That's why our donor suggested insemination 3 times over 4 days!
Anyway, I digress.... After seeing the donor out with his four tins of Guinness, paid in gratitude, I take the pot upstairs.
For those who don't know, like myself, semen is viscous, like snot!! YUK! As you can imagine, and as I've tried and tested....The syringe will not take up snot-like substances very well! It gets messy!! It takes around 15 minutes for semen to liquefy. Try to keep it at body temperature, we wedged it between 2 pillows.
Just like heterosexual intercourse, it is best to be lubricated, and the best way to do that, is natural lubrication. So during the 15 minutes, the pressure is on!! Me and Heidi wanted to keep it as natural and intimate as possible, so we did what we had to do...I won't bless you with those details, they're unnecessary, as long as the person being inseminated is lubricated you're all good :)
So, once the semen had liquefied. I took up HALF the semen in the syringe. Which sounds easy. Easier said than done I'll tell you! I was sat, stark naked, slightly intoxicated and frog legged, holding the pot between my feet so I could use both hands to use the syringe!! During my antics, Heidi propped her pelvis up on some pillows with her legs upright, rested against the headboard, so gravity could do it's thing.
You need to insert the syringe, far enough in so the semen doesn't leak out, but not too far in where it'll bounce back at you!! So just to the opening of the cervix is fine, and SLOWLY release the semen, SLOWLY, if you go too fast it'll bounce back off the cervix wall!! Leave the syringe in as a 'plug' to reduce any back-flow. Heidi stayed like that for 30 minutes. Safe to say, it's cold and boring, so she played candy crush and checked Facebook! So if anyone thought this was going to be romantic....you were wrong!
After 30 minutes, we removed the syringe and did the same thing again with the other half of the semen.
We did this for 3 nights over 4 days!!
The first night, was a mess, I got it all over my hands, I was so grossed out! Heidi obviously found it hilarious. I'm scarred for life! The second night, I was a pro! No mess. Bish, bash, bosh! The third night, we were both tired, I mean, we've been together 4 years, honeymoon period is over. Sex 3 times in four days, going to bed past midnight and getting up for work at 4am....It's hard work!! But we did what we had to do for our little family!
So after an eventful week, it was simply down to a waiting game. The donor's plethora of spreadsheets and years of experience gave us, what he considered, a 60% chance of success.2 weeks felt like a lifetime away! And my god did they drag!! We thought we wanted it before, but now we wanted it more than ever!