About Me

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Hi, I'm Kirsty. I'm 23 years old from Southampton, UK. I studied Forensic Biology at University and graduated in 2014. I work as a Assistant Store Manager in retail because I love it, I love people and it allows me to spend more time with my family :)

I have been with my wife, Heidi, since February 2012, married since April 2016 and have a beautiful baby boy, Woody, together born 25/07/16.

We're a very active family, we have a little Westie, Trudy, too. So we love dog walking, holidays and lots of adventure!!

I've blogged our journey through planning our baby, trying, conceiving, pregnancy and onwards in the hope of helping others fulfil their dreams as we did. Find link below. Enjoy :) and please don't hesitate to ask if you have any questions :)

Saturday, 26 March 2016

Daddy Envy!!

Everything was so planned and precise, and the waiting game got far longer and far worse! We found out Heidi was pregnant at the earliest possible stage! 2 weeks after insemination. The wait to get through the 'danger zone' to tell people was awful! We kept reading all these horror stories of early termination and what happens when the chromosomes don't recombine properly, or the cells don't replicate as they should. Heidi and I were stuck in a bubble between the two of us and now wine was out of the question!!

The reveal was nice, we told close friends to share our worries and woes with. And when my mum was finally well enough to come home, we bought her a baby knitting book and inside wrote a note from our little bug. My mum and I have had quite a hostile relationship in the past, and Heidi has lived that with me. But on this day, they shared a real moment. My mum burst into tears, gave us a huge hug and rubbed Heidi's belly. Even Heidi cried, and she never cries! She's like an emotional rock! But it's okay because I'm an emotional wreck and make up for us both!!

Over the Christmas period, now 8 weeks pregnant, the secret was out to all the family. Christmas is a big drinking holiday, and as you all are probably aware by now, Heidi and I are partial to a glass (or 10!) of wine. So it didn't take long for the penny to drop! The conversations on the how's flowed soon after....and that was interesting to say the least! How do you explain, conservatively and respectfully, to the elders of that family how we 'turkey basted'?! Heidi's sister is a health care assistant and now cannot look at a 10ml syringe without giggling to herself!!

But as the word got out, the questions became out of hand. I grew severe 'daddy envy'. 
"So whose the dad?!" "ME!" "Yeah, but you know, who's the REAL dad?!" "ME!!".
I know it's all harmless. The subject is still very unknown and taboo. So although most accept same sex parenting, not everyone understands. The conversation was Heidi and donor orientated, and yes, I turned into the green-eyed monster. I didn't like talking about the donor at all, I'd avoid it as much as I could. Why couldn't people just understand, Heidi and I are the REAL parents! Genetics isn't everything! I mean how many of us are there that weren't raised by our biological 'parents'. I wasn't, and neither was Heidi. But that doesn't make our parents any less our parents...

It was a long 12 weeks. But once I saw our baby on that screen in the ultrasound. My dad envy passed. This man had gone completely out of his way on his own will, for nothing more than 4 cans of Guiness to give us this precious gift! How can I envy him? He's a scientist, he has research to carry out, he has students to train in doctoring/nursing/midwifery, he has plenty on his plate, plenty of things to be doing, plenty to keep him busy and yet still he chose to do this for us. And not only us, no, our donor has 25 other donor children!! And even after a few bad experiences, with some bad people, to the extent he has even had to make the great escape out of a bathroom window...He's still donating to help fulfil people's dreams, like ours. I actually love him for what he has given us, and nothing I can say or do will show the amount of appreciation I have towards not only him but to Heidi for baring this gift. 

Having NEAD, I succumbed myself to never procreating, I didn't want to risk either seizuring whilst pregnant and harming the baby, or passing it on, because....it's horrible and it's painful and I'm a hard-faced sarcastic bi*ch, and I'll laugh and joke and pass it off, but it's not nice to say the least...and I couldn't watch my child go through it. I just couldn't. I'd never forgive myself. And here I am, expecting our first child, because of these 2 incredibly amazing people! I still can't get over it! I am truly blessed! 

After the 12 week scan, when we found out everything was fine, we made it 'Facebook official'. We put both our babies in one photo. Our Westie puppydog, Trudy, and our new addition. Trudy's going to be a big sister! The support we received was overwhelming! I expected a few controversial comments, but I only had one...which was good! "I don't know why you're getting excited about baby that isn't even yours!". I'm sorry, but we shall see whose baby it is when both Heidi and I's names are printed in black and while on the birth certificate! Safe to say my friends list halved after that, I haven't got time for that negativity when I'm about to under-go the most exciting year of my life so far!

But things weren't all hunky dory! No! It doesn't matter if a baby is planned or not, you're never prepared enough! Something will always need doing. We live in a one bedroom house, so not only did we need to arrange either moving or renovating. Things also aren't so simple when you're a same-sex family.

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